Commonplaces on Play vs. Work

"Play is anything you enjoy and aren't held accountable for." --Jordan (Juhr-duhn) Leithart

"Play starts when the umpire says 'Play ball' and ends when the last out is made. Everything else, like lifting weights and taking steroids, is just work." --Ben Saunders

"Dr. Stokes learned me all about letters last year. “They simply refer us,” he said, “to real world stuff.” Problem solved! What childhood activity could be more “real world” than packaging 10 dead flies into envelopes, sorted according to their kinds, and selling them to my other brothers?" --Timothy van den Broek

N. D. Wilson

Just a quick note: first edition signed copies of Nathan Wilson's 100 Cupboards are selling for $70.00 at the moment, and it is soon to be followed by its sequel. If you are looking for an excellent, up and coming author, you would be hard pressed to do better.

The Politics of Blood

"If you are a Christian and you deny that the unborn are created in the image of God, then you need to start taking better care of your soul -- because you are losing it."

"The paper-thin objection that pro-lifers are inconsistent in opposing abortion because they generally support the death penalty is risible. We oppose killing innocents who have not had their day in court, and support killing guilty people who have had their day in court, and you want to make that into an inconsistency? Better luck next time."

These are excerpts from an excellent post by Wilson on the topic of abortion and war. Quick read, and worth reading.

History Presentation

I did my history presentation on Book III of Herodotus, and received an SCL. I'm more than just a wee bit happy.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Conservativism

"If the Democrats wanted to burn down the Capitol building, the Republicans would counter with a proposal to do it over the course of three years."

R.L. Dabney described a certain kind of conservatism as the shadow that follows radicalism to perdition.

Doug Wilson is embarking on a tour of the reprehensible Senator McCain's anomalous choice of VP, which has so far been quite interesting. Click on my title to jump in mid-stride.

Redneck

You may be a redneck if:

1. you mow your lawn and find a car, or

2. to lose twenty pounds, you don't go on a diet; you take off a belt-buckle.

Nice Latin phrase

"Vir qui surget in latrino, altus est in caccabo."

A man standing on a toilet is high on pot.

Yes, He's Serious

Our Latin teacher, in the course of a class, commented that his daughter's first word was "Ecce."

कोम्मोंप्लासस

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you have too much money."

"Happiness is like wetting your pants: everyone can see it, but you're the only one who can feel it."

"What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless."
--Mark Driscoll

On the excessive use of makeup:
"If the house needs painting, bring out the brushes."
"If it needs that much paint, remodel."

"Love conquers all, so tace et osculate."

To Mr. Collins: "The only time you open your mouth is to switch feet: I thought men like you shot themselves. Your mother should have thrown you out and kept the stork."

"I could become one with Nature to figure out where the heck Nature is and then kill it."
--Craig Lynn

"Mothers, persistent as Rambo sequels..."


Most of these aren't cited; about half are mine and the rest are either unnamed classmates or were anonymously cited by unnamed classmates. Enjoy.

Story

The vast majority of Scripture is comprised of stories. In our imitation of God, we should learn to tell stories. Jokes are a good place to start.

Evangellyfish

Pastor Doug Wilson of Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho has written a novel called Evangellyfish. So far, he has posted the first two chapters (click on my title), and they are brutally well worth reading.

Enjoy.

Spurgeon: preach with fire

"A lukewarm sermon sickens every healthy mind . . . Fire has never yet learned moderation . . . A live coal from off the altar is our need . . . Everything gives way before fire . . . Like the priests at the altar, we can do nothing without fire . . . Let it be carefully remembered that our flame must be kindled from on high. Nothing is more to be despised than a mere painted fire, the simulation of earnestness. Sooner let us have an honest death than a counterfeit life" (Charles Spurgeon, An All-Round Ministry, pp. 173-177).

Commonplaces

And I want you to know the truth: that you are far worse than you think, and God is far better than you think, and the distance between you and God is far greater than you think.

--Mark Driscoll, God Dies



Puritanism: the haunting fear that somehow, somewhere, someone is happy.

--H. L. Menken (who greatly hated God and honored J. Gresham Machen, the last of the old-school Puritans)

Hell

Yet more random mutterings and protestations on the ever controversial topic of hell.

The first point to be made is quite simple: hell is not an elaborately designed torture chamber planned by a malicious genius who is always looking for more victims. It is a place infinitely removed from the Grace of God, to which He consigns those who spend their entire lives spurning Him. This is just even as far as our limited minds can conceive: if men spend their entire lives rebelling against their rightful Sovereign, does it not inevitably follow that they will at some point be cast out of His Kingdom and the protection that it entails?

My second point is even simpler: hell is eternal, and those that are sent there are punished eternally. To those who say that they are punished only until the measure of their sins is expiated (annihilationism), I completely agree. The only problem is that for all of eternity, they are still sinning against God, still raging that their punishment is unjust, still cursing the mercy that they spurned for all of their lives, and, thusly, their sins are never expiated. All mercy and restraint is removed from them, and they continue, unleashed as it were, eternally in their previous rebellion and eternally in their current punishment.

My final point is the simplest of all: hell is desired by those who go there. The world follows a design, and that design is not complicated: God Is, and He Is Good. All that exists exists in Him, supported either in submission or in rebellion, and all that exists was created by Him for His Purposes, and will give an account for every word and deed, by which reckoning we are all righteously damned, and to His Glory. Yet, He took that damnation upon Himself, again for His Glory. Those who fall upon this mercy are saved, and those who still hate God are given (to) what they desire: an eternity apart from Him. What was not counted upon ties into the first point: when He removes His Holy Presence, the blessings that accompany Him are removed as well.

"I finally have everything my heart desires, and with finality find myself in hell."

Prince Caspian: Movie Review

I can think of no person alive on this earth who has heard me cuss. Prince Caspian was absolute shit.

I raged, I fumed, I cried, I begged, and all to no avail.

There was no reason to make High King Peter the Magnificent into a sniveling little angst filled twit; there was no reason to make Queen Susan into Xena, Warrior Princess; there was no reason to remove God from the story until the very end (nice little deists, aren't we?); there was no reason to make Caspian twenty instead of twelve; there was no reason to attack Miraz' castle; there was no reason to skip the school and town scenes; there was absolutely no reason to make Susan and Caspian fall in love--that made me feel ill; give Glory to God, there was no reason to make this abomination of a movie.

Book Review: The Tipping Point

The Tipping Point, by Malcom Gladwell, surprised me. Firstly, I was surprised that I read it--NY Times bestseller with the subtitle "How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference" just doesn't sound like me. I hate people, and if enough of them like something, I generally won't. But, I put aside my arrogant elitism (just kidding--I don't know how) and read it. Secondly, I was surprised that I loved it. It was a very good book, and worthy of however many hours you put into it.

Gladwell traces social movements that, at some point, take off, "tip," and explode. He then tries to pin down what (and who) makes them do so. It is quite fascinating--The mavens, connectors and salesmen, the law of the few, how Blues' Clues surpassed Sesame Street, how people behave when some of them are made prison guards and the others prisoners (near torture and a riot within one week), and many, many more things from smoking to why a suited white male pulls a gun and shoots four black gangster-like teens on a subway. It really is fascinating, and will be a very valuable reference book for years to come.

There was, however, one problem of considerable importance (at least to someone like me), and that was his view on the importance of parenting.

Now, someone like Gladwell is hard to refute, as he simply states facts that he (and others) have assimilated, and though being unbiased is impossible, he is what we would consider unbiased. The problem I found was not in what he said, but what he failed to say. Here is the situation.

Gladwell says:

"...our environment plays as big--if not bigger--a role as heredity in shaping personality and intelligence..." and, "whatever that environmental influence is, it doesn't have a lot to do with parents." This opinion is based off of several tests that seem quite incontrovertible, and indeed, upon closer review, are quite correct. He elaborates by stating "the environmental influence that helps children become who they are--that shapes their character and personality--is their peer group." So, he holds that the peer group itself supercedes parents in the influence wielded upon the members of the group. This is, astonishingly, entirely correct. We find it (if vaguely) in the Scripture: "a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife:" the "peer group" is what man is designed for, and it affects him tremendously, even more than his parents.

But this in no way takes away from the affect that the parents have--they are the screening process that his peers have to pass, and this is the fundamental point that Gladwell misses. And why does he miss it? Because all to often, it is invisible. All in all, his assessment of the importance of peers is quite correct, and should serve as a rather striking warning to us: no matter what you say and do to your kids, who you let them spend their time with away from you will define them more than you ever will. Ouch.

Last and Greatest (or at least most awkward) Declamation

Oh Sweet Smell

The first week of NSA was awkward. There was a barrier within our class, and this barrier was the sexes. No one knew how to act or what to say.

The first time I met Sean, it smelled right. In my nose every nostril hair was swaying back and forth singing the Hallelujah Chorus. If Capon wrote a book on smells, Sean would be Capon’s onion, only it would take more than ten pages to unpeel all the mysteries of Sean’s smelliness. Sean smells so good, and I told him this. “Sean, you smell soooooo good.”

I do not think that this was necessarily the greatest thing to tell a guy, especially one that you just met, but I don’t regret it. Anyone so odiferous deserves a prize: a plastic cookie, a statue of a naked Greek god, coupons…anything.

Needles to say this made Sean extremely uncomfortable, which was only a small part of the joy it gave me. He stepped back, and in his eyes I could see a picture of the Antichrist. He shifted his little mouse eyes, and anxiously moved his little mouse hands in distress. Trying to help him understand, I said: “Sean, really, you are the best smelling person I know. You smell like home.” This just made things worse…

Now when I see Sean it is like the story of Abelard and Eloise. Anytime I came within a three-foot radius I say, “Abelard, I don’t want to use Herbal Essence anymore, I just want to smell like you.” And Abelard says back, “Eloise, Eloise, Eloise, live for God.”

Amusing Links

Click on the title.

A Touch of Humor (or Humour for the Brits)

1). What do you call an attractive man walking down the street with a blonde?

A hostage.



2). The Top 10 Reasons why it's better to be an NSA student than a Jedi:

10. Gas money to Spokane is cheaper than passage on the Millennium Falcon.

9. You don't need midi-chlorians to appreciate truth, beauty, and goodness.

8. Jedi probably have to study *modern* languages.

7. None of the NSA faculty are 900 years old, short and green with pointy ears.

6. Some of the Padawan learners might have gone to public school.

5. NSA students have cooler robes.

4. Dr. Stokes.

3. In Latin, you can put a sentence in any order you want!

2. Doug Wilson is more powerful than the Jedi Council AND Emperor Palpatine.

And the #1 reason why it's better to be an NSA student than a Jedi:

1. Jedi are prohibited from forming attachments. NSA students, on the other hand...




3). Painful Yiddish Joke

Back in the days of the Wild West, a westbound wagon train was lost and running out of food. No other humans had been seen for days. Then, finally, the pioneers saw an old Rabbi sitting beneath a tree and reading the Torah.

“Is there some place ahead where we can get food?” they asked him.

“Vell, I tink so,” the old man said, “but I vouldn’t go up dat hill over dere und down de udder side. Somevun tole me you’d run into a big bacon tree.”

“A bacon tree?” asked the wagon train leader.

“Yah, an bacon tree. Vould I lie? Trust me. I vouldn’t go dere.”

The leader goes back and tells his people what the Rabbi said. “So why did he say not to go there?” a person asked. Other pioneers said, “Oh, you know those Jewish people - they don’t eat bacon.”

So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attack them from everywhere and massacre all except the leader, who manages to escape and drag himself back to the old Rabbi.

Near dead, the man groans, “You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your route but there was no bacon tree, just hundreds of Indians who killed everyone but me!”

The old Jewish man holds up his hand and says, “Oy, vait a minute.” He quickly picks up a Yiddish-English dictionary and begins thumbing through it. “Oy Gevalt, I made myself such ah big mishtake! It vuzn’t a bacon tree... it vuz a ham-bush!”