Friday, July 8, 2011

Bell and Sampson

Here is a movie made by Rob Bell (thank you Anonymous), and here is a spoof done by Canon Press (starring Stephen Sampson). Then, Wilson responds to all the questions you're about to ask here.

Jesse Broussard

Judge the Judges

so that by the Judges we shall be judged.

My house (Boniface Hill) will be starting a Bible study on the book of Judges soon, and not just by Aslan's definition. As a result of this, I'll have regular posting fodder, which I'll probably write, revise, re-revise, read, question God's wisdom in perpetuating my existence, and use the posting fodder to "put Watts in 'em, boys" or some such not-necessarily-productive-but-definitely-entertaining thing (large bangs and primary colors appeal to the young). But, one post in a hundred will probably make it past the gauntlet of semi-sentience that is my mind, and this is the first of those, in my typical sophisticated and highly technical writing style of "somewhat like a list or something."

1. Judah is the royal tribe of Israel (read the blessing in Genesis something or other), so it's not surprising that they're sent in first. What is surprising is that they ask Simeon, one of the two tribes cursed for using the sign of the covenant (circumcision) as a weapon against members of the covenant (the freshly circumcised). The result of this curse was that they didn't have a parcel of land for their own; theirs was taken out of Judah's.

2. Adoni-Bezek: literally, 'Lord of the Lighning flash' or 'Lord of the Sunrise.' In either case, this Adoni is not too hard to see as a representation of Satan, the ruler of the world: he is a Jovian figure (lightning or sunrise) who dominated the seventy nations. (In Genesis nine or ten, the seventy nations of the world are listed; when seventy nations are mentioned here it's an obvious reference to the world. Therefore, Adoni-Bezek is the "ruler of the world.") It's significant that he's the first to fall. The rest of the book is the mop-up job that we botch (much as today, the war is over, but we keep losing battles), but our sin is used to demonstrate the fact that it can't stop the Grace of God, and we'll end up winning in spite of our best efforts. So quit whining, barbeque the tri-tip, raise your glass to God and sing something, blessit (inverted profanity).

3. Big toes and thumbs: not a clue, except for the obvious military ramifications (ever thrown a spear without a thumb? I thought not). Somehow it's more significant than just this, but I don't really know how; it's like the places of the body that the blood is rubbed on. So if you know, tell me, and if it's convincing, I'll add you as an admin to my blog and try to get in on your book royalties.

4. Ten-thousand: obviously a round number, but surprising in that it's four tens instead of just three.

5. Kirjath-Arba: Kiriath means city, and Arba means four, so this is plausibly four cities that merged. However, far more interesting is that Arba was the name of the father of Anak, and therefore of the Anakim (the giants with a fondness for digital sextets that terrified the Israelites so that their bodies were scattered in the desert), so this is also plausibly a city founded by him. In any case, it's occupied by giants, and Judah kills them all; one of the reasons there are so few left today.

6. Note the five kings of the Philistines, and endure typology: the fifth day of creation is when the fishies and the cheep-cheeps were made, and the fish typically represent the gentiles (hence, we're fishers of men, and in the OT fish are almost never mentioned and are absolutely never eaten, and then Jesus comes and suddenly we didn't know that other animals were made out of food). So, the five rulers of the Philistines represent the Gentile world as a whole, and anytime you see five kings, you're fully justified in thinking "uh-oh." This becomes big with Sampson, and is huge in Revelation and anything else that John wrote.

7. And finally, they start out so gloriously... Here's the pattern:

1. Creation
2. Fall
3. Decline
4. Judgment
5. Re-creation

The chief three?

1. Adam to Noah,
2. Noah to David and Ezra,
3. Daniel and Ezra to Christ and the Church.

That's all for now.

Jesse Broussard

Wodehousian Fun