I have a friend at school (difficult as it may be to believe) that is named Ashley Hoogendam. I took it upon myself to call her Nefarious Dam of the Hoogens, partly because it just made me happy, and partly because she reminds me of a mix of Ashley Menza and my dad when he's drunk: very happy, very sweet, loads of fun, and an absolute joy to be around while being kind of amusing by the very fact of her existence (I'll leave you to figure out which parts go with which), and all of that in the best possible sense. In a word, a really great girl.
Anyway, she decided to come up with a nickname for me. My hopes were not high, and I was rather amused, as no one has yet come up with a nickname for me that has stuck (save H, and hers were hers alone: my brother couldn't exactly call me Luv without generating confusion, mixed emotions and perhaps a crowbar to the head), but Nefarious Dam of the Hoogens has succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I am: