A few more intriguing statements from the King of Commonplaces.
"Just because Mr. Grieser and I both think you suck doesn't mean we don't like you."
" 'Cause Darwin has a big, scary beard, like a prophet."
"Every time I come into Moscow from Pullman, I see the sign that says 'Welcome to Moscow, Heart of the Arts.' On my left is an enormous Wall-Mart, and on my right is the sewage treatment plant. It makes me warm inside."
This is a small sampling of a few of his worse ones, but I'll have to get my Commonplace book to give you better ones.