N. D. Wilson's Past Misdemeanors

Right Behind: A Parody of Last Days Goofiness by N.D. Wilson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Oh wow. This was one of the most delightfully hilarious books I've ever read. Written by a postmillenial author (who is an astonishing author as well as my rhetoric teacher) in response to the Left Behind series, and it is amazing. He makes fun of the prose:

"Buff sat by his window in business class and watched the sun come up like a single tooth in a bleeding gum."

He makes fun of the inherent gnosticism:

"Then he has finally turned his back on this world of matter and all things evil. He has jumped right out of the corruption that matter entails... He has reached the enlightened world of Forms where there is no jewelry but spiritual jewels, where dentures cannot go, where everyone is naked. He has been raptured..."

And he had way too much fun writing it (unless it was his co-author, Mr. Sock, the "renown prophecy expert...who for the last four decades has been carefully predicting the beginning of the apocalypse as always within the next four years. Sadly, Mrs. Sock was never seen after a tragic washing-machine journey in 1988...")

"'Haddie (the Whore of Babylon) was enthralled. This man had ideas.'

'Ninety-two percent of each of your country's arms will be destroyed. The other eight percent will be given to me personally. The keys to all the tanks and jeeps will be mailed to the following address...
'Lastly for now, the headquarters of the United Nations is no longer in New York. The entire building, and even the delegates, shall in one week be moved to the city of Babylon. It is currently only a Kurdish trailer court, but I think if we move there, others will follow.

'I would once again like to thank you for choosing me as your Antichrist. I will do...'

Haddie's phone rang.
'Hello?' Haddie said.
'Haddie. This is Buff. Do you still wanna warm the bed of the Antichrist?'
'Absolutely!'
'Did you see him on TV?'
'Yes. Isn't he gorgeous?'
'He looks like a small carpet salesman, but that's your call... He'll be at the Manhattan Comfort Inn for another week... Haddie, he's an evil man.'
'Yes, but so cute.'
'Haddie, he asked me if you wear scarlet.'
'I love scarlet, especilly if he does.'
'Haddie, the man laughed and said, "The smoke from her goes up forever." '
'You know that I smoke.'
'Haddie, he wants to make you the Whore of Babylon.'
'I'm no prude.'
'He wants you to live in a trailer court with him.'
'I'll talk to him about that one, but I'm sure that it's a mere stepping stone...' "

It's just great.

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